What NOT To Do On Your Dating Profile

We've given you endless hints and tips for filling in your dating profile and flirting with your date as you sip drinks on a rooftop bar at sunset, but finding out what NOT to do can be a little harder to come by. What should you definitely avoid writing in your profile? Does it contain any easily avoidable turn-offs that might be driving other quality members away? Let's clarify the DON'Ts of online dating:

1. "I can't believe I'm doing this"

It's 2015; I think I read something last week about self driving cars and robots that humans can genuinely have sex with. 

My point being: having an online dating profile is no longer an awkward confession to make to your friends. Millions of people do it, have done it, and have met their soulmates through doing it. Plus, a comment like this insinuates that you're only dating online as a last resort and your heart's not fully in it, and the people you meet that way (who, SURPRISE, will be online daters too) probably won't appreciate that kind of attitude. Be positive, and you'll get a lot more out of the experience. 

2. Don’t Lie

Honesty is the best policy. Don't you want someone to like you for you? Have a read of our article about Dating Lies for some more info about lying online. 

3. Be positive

Someone who's looking for romance in their life will not want a moping, moaning, gloomy love interest. 

So you're single, so you've had a few bad dates, so you could be crying daily about whatever isn't right about your life, but it's unlikely that that attitude will be attractive to a potential suitor. Fake it till you make it: starting out cheerful and upbeat will attract someone of that disposition and that is likely to brighten your life in the long term. 

4. "Moonlit walks and quiet evenings by the fireplace sipping wine."

Sorry, I just fell asleep. Comments like this are highly average I'm afraid, so steer clear. Yes, unless you're afraid of the dark, moonlit walks are great and the fireside is obviously a majorly cosy location. 

But this doesn't tell us much about you as a person; everyone is ‘fun-loving’, ‘loves to travel’ and 'isn't sure what else to write!'. Make your profile stand out from the crowd. Use playful language, unique examples and give it a conversational feel, as if you were actually talking to the person in a bar.

5. Ex marks the zero chance of a successful date

It may not be obvious to you at the time, but when someone mentions their ex in a profile that is supposed to portray them, it makes it clear that you're not over said lad/lady. While you're at it, don't bring up the ex for the first few dates either.

6. "Looking for someone fun but down to earth"

Don't say what you want your man to be like, and ESPECIALLY don't say what you don't want him to be like. This can come across as desperate, demanding and/or high maintenance, which is never going to draw someone in (wait until they've fallen for you before you reveal your crazy, duh). Instead of being picky in your profile, turn on your inner Simon Cowell once you actually start to receive messages. That way you get all the options and you can whittle them down in your own time to your heart's content.

7.  You are only as good as your worst picture

A picture is worth 1000 words. You may have five great profile pictures posted, but if that sixth picture is a dodgy one it could very easily send someone running. Frustrating as this obsession with looks is, it's largely unavoidable when a few images and lines of text are all someone has to go by, so try and present yourself in your very best light. It's also worth saying that sexualising your photo gallery won't score you many dates either. You may receive messages but it won’t be for the right reasons.

8.  Don't go on and on

 Psychologically, small sections of text seem more appealing and approachable than chunky paragraphs.  Structure your profile in small, two to three sentence sections, with each area focussing into a different area of who you are. We reckon you'll get much more success that way. 

So all that's left to say is...

Is 'type-dating' the reason you're still single?

Most of us have a set of standards for the people we date, or a 'type'. While it's important to know what you want, if your guidelines are too strict or standards too high you could actually be the one keeping yourself single! The extensive list of physical qualities or personality traits that you require a date to have may not seem too much to ask, but by ruling out so many people you simply have fewer fish in your dating sea and could be eliminating a huge bunch of quality people. 

Are there enough fish in the sea? 

Make a list of what qualities you would need a date to have - be honest - and then consider which of those you could hold judgement on. For example, if you won't date someone unless they have a certain hair colour or face shape, it could be time to realise that that is quite an arbitrary reason for refusing even to get to know a person. By cutting out the most superfluous of your dating demands you might be surprised by the sheer number of new potential dates you will meet!

Are you holding yourself back? 

By continuously dating the same type of person, it's unlikely that you are growing through your relationships. Just like stepping out of your comfort zone in life teaches you to be able to cope with new things and gather experiences, so will broadening your dating comfort-zone enable you to grow in love. This will spread through all areas of your life, helping you to know even more what it is that you really want out of a partner. 

Is it really working for you? 

If your dating life has been unsuccessful so far, it could be that the qualities you look for in a partner aren't necessarily compatible with your personality. We often become idealistic about love, expecting it to solve all our problems when that simply isn't realistic. Be honest with yourself about who you are and what you want out of life, and you may realise that the person you usually go for doesn't share those values. By becoming more flexible with the sort of person you date, you could open your eyes to a quality of relationship that you didn't even know you were missing. 

Why do you have the 'type' that you do?

 Maybe you're holding on to a past relationship or trying to be someone you're not. You may even fear entering a relationship with someone, and use an unreasonable list of demands for a future partner to give you an excuse to stay single. Letting go of your list and opening your mind could open up and change your dating world completely. Why not give it a go? Challenge yourself to look outside the box and go out with people who you might not ordinarily choose. You might be pleasantly surprised.