Safe Dating

Keep it safe! 

What NOT To Do On Your Dating Profile

We've given you endless hints and tips for filling in your dating profile and flirting with your date as you sip drinks on a rooftop bar at sunset, but finding out what NOT to do can be a little harder to come by. What should you definitely avoid writing in your profile? Does it contain any easily avoidable turn-offs that might be driving other quality members away? Let's clarify the DON'Ts of online dating:

1. "I can't believe I'm doing this"

It's 2015; I think I read something last week about self driving cars and robots that humans can genuinely have sex with. 

My point being: having an online dating profile is no longer an awkward confession to make to your friends. Millions of people do it, have done it, and have met their soulmates through doing it. Plus, a comment like this insinuates that you're only dating online as a last resort and your heart's not fully in it, and the people you meet that way (who, SURPRISE, will be online daters too) probably won't appreciate that kind of attitude. Be positive, and you'll get a lot more out of the experience. 

2. Don’t Lie

Honesty is the best policy. Don't you want someone to like you for you? Have a read of our article about Dating Lies for some more info about lying online. 

3. Be positive

Someone who's looking for romance in their life will not want a moping, moaning, gloomy love interest. 

So you're single, so you've had a few bad dates, so you could be crying daily about whatever isn't right about your life, but it's unlikely that that attitude will be attractive to a potential suitor. Fake it till you make it: starting out cheerful and upbeat will attract someone of that disposition and that is likely to brighten your life in the long term. 

4. "Moonlit walks and quiet evenings by the fireplace sipping wine."

Sorry, I just fell asleep. Comments like this are highly average I'm afraid, so steer clear. Yes, unless you're afraid of the dark, moonlit walks are great and the fireside is obviously a majorly cosy location. 

But this doesn't tell us much about you as a person; everyone is ‘fun-loving’, ‘loves to travel’ and 'isn't sure what else to write!'. Make your profile stand out from the crowd. Use playful language, unique examples and give it a conversational feel, as if you were actually talking to the person in a bar.

5. Ex marks the zero chance of a successful date

It may not be obvious to you at the time, but when someone mentions their ex in a profile that is supposed to portray them, it makes it clear that you're not over said lad/lady. While you're at it, don't bring up the ex for the first few dates either.

6. "Looking for someone fun but down to earth"

Don't say what you want your man to be like, and ESPECIALLY don't say what you don't want him to be like. This can come across as desperate, demanding and/or high maintenance, which is never going to draw someone in (wait until they've fallen for you before you reveal your crazy, duh). Instead of being picky in your profile, turn on your inner Simon Cowell once you actually start to receive messages. That way you get all the options and you can whittle them down in your own time to your heart's content.

7.  You are only as good as your worst picture

A picture is worth 1000 words. You may have five great profile pictures posted, but if that sixth picture is a dodgy one it could very easily send someone running. Frustrating as this obsession with looks is, it's largely unavoidable when a few images and lines of text are all someone has to go by, so try and present yourself in your very best light. It's also worth saying that sexualising your photo gallery won't score you many dates either. You may receive messages but it won’t be for the right reasons.

8.  Don't go on and on

 Psychologically, small sections of text seem more appealing and approachable than chunky paragraphs.  Structure your profile in small, two to three sentence sections, with each area focussing into a different area of who you are. We reckon you'll get much more success that way. 

So all that's left to say is...

How To Fill Out Your Online Dating Profile

Don’t worry if you draw a blank when asked to introduce yourself in three words or with an interesting fact; most of our members say that the self-description aspect is the toughest part about the entire online dating process. To make it simpler we’ve put together some tips and examples on how to turn your clichés into quirks and help your personality come through as much as it can in those few short sentences.

1.     Straight to the point

Of course you want your description to say as much about you as possible, but that doesn’t mean you need to write an essay. If you focus on just a few interesting things about yourself it will make you stand out in the crowd more than someone who tells their whole life story.

2. Honesty is the best policy

Lying on your profile is not going to get you anywhere! Whether you lie in your description or elsewhere on your profile (e.g. about your height or age), it won’t help you past the first date. As soon as you meet them the truth will come out, and besides, why base your relationship on dishonesty?

3.     Be specific

Lists of adjectives don’t make an impact. Saying you’re ‘loyal, funny and down to earth’ is meaningless when there are thousands of other profiles that promise the same. Saying you’re ‘a fan of comedy films and pop music’ is also pretty unremarkable. Instead, focus on what makes you unique. If you do love comedies, what’s your favourite? If you’re a traveller, where is the best place you’ve been? Where do you dream of going one day? Music, sport, theatre, art, TV, literature… Tell us why you love it; tell us specifics that you love! Detail makes you more personable, makes you stand out, and makes it easier for someone to start a conversation; all of which will help you with getting a date.

4.     Modesty

While it’s great to be confident, boasting is unattractive. There’s a clear line between the two – we recommend that you don’t cross it! If you’re unsure about your profile in this respect, why not ask a friend or family member to read over it? They’ll be able to tell you if you’re blowing your own trumpet too much.

Things you could include in your personal description –

·      Hobbies and pastimes

·      Who you like spending time with

·      When you’re happiest

·      What qualities are most important to you in a partner

·      Your best quality

·      Something you’re proud of

·      Achievements

·      Favourite memories

·      Favourite food

·      Favourite film

·      Favourite band (…you get the idea!)

And don’t forget – whatever you choose, make it unique to you! Now head back to HelloYou to give it a go.

Good Luck!

Online Dating Tips

Navigating the dating scene can certainly be challenging, and it's especially tough to know how to present yourself online. How can you show who you are with just a tiny description box, or ensure that your profile will attract the kind of person you want to date?

 

 Streamline your search for that special someone with these tips and tricks for optimising your online dating experience:

Fill up your profile

The fuller your profile is, the more interest it will attract, so it’s important to make sure it’s complete with pictures and a personal description that’s unique to you. Investing thought and effort into your profile will go a long way. 

Love at first sight… 

Your photo is the first thing a potential date will see - so it needs to be current, clear and welcoming; one that encourages someone to read further. Use it to show yourself in your best light; a photo that shows you looking natural and happy doing something you enjoy will be more attractive than one that’s overly formal or clichéd. This means avoid sunglasses, selfies and group shots where no one can tell who you are!



Be specific in your self-description

Just like with your photos, you want to avoid clichés in your personal description. Even if you are loyal, fun and easy-going, so many other profiles say the exact same thing that you’ll never stand out from the crowd. Instead, be specific! If you’re proud of the lobster fishing business you developed from scratch, then say so! Whether you love racing cars, medieval architecture, 1980’s rom-coms or all three – let us know in your profile. Not only does this offer an insight into your personality but it gives plenty of scope to get a conversation started. 

Don’t just wait for them to come to you!

You’re more likely to meet the right person if you actively look for them, rather than just hoping they’ll pop up in front of you. Is there something specific you’re looking for in a partner, or a certain hobby you’d love them to share? Instead of leaving it up to chance, use our browser to tailor your search.

Don’t be afraid to make the first move

Male members are traditionally more proactive online, but a lot of men also say that they find it refreshing when a woman starts up a conversation first. While it’s easier said than done, there really is no reason to be afraid to make the first move. You never know what can happen unless you try! Keep things short to start with – asking a question about something in their profile is a good way to begin – and don’t be disheartened or take it personally if they don’t always respond!

How to begin a conversation

Keep your first message short, but make it clear that you have read their profile. If it says they love film, ask them what their favourite movies are; if they love travelling, ask them about where they’ve been. Starting a conversation with a generic, one-word greeting won’t make you seem like an interesting person, and they’ll be less likely to reply, whereas an interesting question will get conversation flowing right away.  

Moving things offline

Don’t let online messaging go on for too long. Remember; you’re talking to a real person at the other end of the computer and you’re looking for a real relationship – there’s no point letting it build up too much online in case it doesn’t materialize in real life. But don’t put too much pressure on yourself when taking a potential date from online into real life. Sometimes online chemistry doesn’t translate when you’re face to face, and that’s ok! It doesn’t mean it will be the same for every date you go on so don’t be too disappointed. Likewise, bear in mind that some people are far more charismatic in person; so if conversation isn’t flowing online don’t rule out the possibility of a date. 

If you keep an open mind and a positive approach it’s far more likely that you’ll meet someone who’s right for you, and when you do you’ll know it’s been worth the wait! 






Now you’re a bit more clued in on online dating tips, tricks and etiquette, head back to our main website to create your FREE HelloYou account. 

For more dating advice, anecdotes and ideas for improving your profile, browse through the rest of the HelloYou blog.