New to Online Dating? Here's what to expect

There is somewhat of a misconception that once you've signed up and created your profile, online dating will progress in a way not dissimilar to the conventional, meet up and hit it off (or not) dating that we are all too familiar with.

Let me tell you now that this is not necessarily the case.

However, do not let the fear of the unknown put you off! It may be different, but that isn't a bad thing. Here are a few heads up regarding the online dating process so that you know a little more of what to expect as you're starting out. 

1. First Dates Are Different 

Regardless of how much you've talked to someone online before meeting them for a date, the fact of the matter is that you are doing exactly that: meeting them. For the first time! This means that it's a good idea to keep the first date short and sweet, unless you instantly decide that you want them to be your life partner (unlikely!!). Use the first date to gauge whether or not you want to see this person again and don't have expectations that are too high. Think of the online-dating-first-date as more of a dating prequel. Once you know you like them, THEN commit to spending more time together at a later date.

2. Prepare to Meet Strangers

Continuing from number 1; you will need to be prepared to meet-and-greet a lot of brand new faces. This is a positive, but it does take some getting used to and can of course be uncomfortable at first. But you will grow accustomed to it, and chances are your date is feeling similar! So it gives you something to bond over. 

3. There are MANY Fish in the Sea

When you meet someone the conventional way, chances are you already like them enough to agree to go out with them; even if that's just from their general manner of being, it's still an indicator! However, with online dating you have to do the weeding process more consciously, whether that is via what people post in their profiles or write to you in a message, or through the actual practice of meeting them face to face. This means that you might have to go out with a lot of people before you find the 'right' one, and this can be overwhelming for some. But keep at it! The right person will be worth the effort.

4. Profile vs. Person

The person you're faced with over coffee may well not be much like how you imagine them based upon their profile information. It's important not to invest too much hope or expectation in a date before it's happened - whether intentionally or not, the information someone chooses to share about themselves online might not always be in line with how they present themselves in real life!

5. No Replies/ LOTS of Messages? Both Normal!

Some people will get loads of messages from matches they simply are not interested in, while others might get replies that are few and far between. Both of these online dating experiences are normal and completely ok. Obviously if you're getting NO replies there might be something key missing from your profile, but it's certainly ok if you don't get a response from everyone you think you might click with. So once again, it's really important to remain reserved until you actually have a rapport going with somebody. And on the other side of things, do NOT feel that you have to reply to every message you receive! You're entirely in charge of your experience, and if you don't like the vibe of someone that's more than enough reason for you to decide not to get involved. 

So yes, online dating may not be very much like regular, meet-in-a-bar-and-ask-for-a-drink dating (at least to start with), but it definitely has its advantages! And once you've got your head around how to go about it, it can be a far more exciting and rewarding experience.

The Dos and Don'ts of Online Dating

Other than the somewhat self-explanatory, stay-safe and don't-meet-your-date-in-a-dark-and-spooky-out-of-the way-location advice, it's difficult to navigate the world of online dating; it can feel like a minefield.

It ISN'T a minefield - in fact far from it - but some do's and don'ts to get you started won't go amiss.

DO invest time in your profile to get it right. 

DO a little research - it could even be helpful to browse the site and see what sort of vibe other people your age are giving out. This way you can get the lay of the land.

DON'T use a selfie as your profile photo! It suggests you have no real photos, and gives any potential suitors absolutely no clues about your life offline.

DON'T lie, fib, misrepresent, mislead, falsify etc etc. Use current photos and be as honest as you'd want someone to be to you. If you want this to go somewhere, you should be upfront from the outset.

DON'T be afraid to make the first move. DON'T wait for someone you're interested in to message you first! 

DO create your first message to someone carefully. Make sure it's personal to them and the information in their profile, and double check the spelling and grammar. 

DON'T to reply every message that comes your way - if you're not interested there is no point wasting your, or anyone else's, time.

DON'T let a failed date let you down. Yes, you might get stood up or dumped on the 5th date; that possibility exists. But if you don't put yourself out there you'll never get anything back. 

DON'T expect too much. Again, this helps you to feel less disappointed if things don't work out. 

DO consider dating someone who isn't your usual type. Maybe that's where you were going wrong in the first place anyway... Keep an open mind!

DON'T stay chatting online with someone for too long before meeting them. If you want this to progress into a real relationship, you'll need to know ASAP if there's a genuine spark between you.

And when the date actually happens...

DO meet in a public place. Well-lit, busy... You get it.

DO be on time. DO be clean. DO be sober. Simple rules of etiquette, but these make all the difference when you're meeting someone for the first time.

DO enjoy yourself! Dating doesn't need to be and isn't supposed to be a terrifying experience. Just think of it as an opportunity to learn new things about people you may not have met otherwise. Approaching it with a positive mindset can make a world of difference.

DON'T go for dinner on the first date. Make it drinks, make it coffee... Don't make it dinner. You can't escape until the end, and if you decide early on that this person isn't for you, you're in for a loooooong evening.

DO actually get out there and start dating to make the most out of your experience.

Why not?! 

Dating in the New Year: why it's the best time to start

Despite the fireworks and festivities of New Year's Eve, it is a night that usually brings anti-climactic celebrations and early onset hangovers rather than the fresh new year that we expect. There's less sun, more work and all the fun holidays are behind us. Pessimistic perhaps, but let's be realistic: January is pretty bleak overall...

This is part of the reason why January is the most popular time for online dating. Other factors include that one nagging aunt who will forget your birthday year after year but somehow remembers to ask why you're still single at every family gathering.

One study shows that from December 26th to February 14th there is up to a 30% increase in new member registrations on dating sites, with the biggest peak occurring on January 2nd. 

Another study indicates that the first Sunday in January is the main day for new sign ups online. Considering the inevitable two day hangover following New Year's Eve, this seems like a pretty accurate representation of when the resolutions actually kick in.

And yes, that's another reason for the increase in online dating: on New Year's many people resolve to find a partner in the coming 365 days. Psychologist Dr. Wiebke Neberich explains that, 

"during the holiday, singles get a chance to truly consider their private lives. This motivation is reinforced by Christmas, which, in celebrating love and the family, rekindles people's interest in finding a solid partnership."

And that's a fair point: for some, the holiday season can be a never-ending relationship status reminder. 

But why else do we start dating in the New Year?

For one, the onset of 2016 doesn't just bring resolutions: it brings a sharp reminder that time passes quickly. Thinking back over the years and sharing memories with family and friends can make us acutely aware of having no one to kiss at midnight; especially if that's been the case for a few years in a row. It can be tough to notice time passing while your singledom remains intact. This can inspire many people to take the plunge and look for love online.

Moreover, as January brings ever more biting wind and rain, people are more inclined to stay indoors. When you're snuggled at home by the fire, it's certainly more appealing to try and find a partner online than it is to venture out to where there may well not even be any potential suitors.

So with all the facts stacking up in your online-dating-success favour, what are you waiting for? We can't all be Keira Knightly, with surplus and unsolicited love interests knocking on our doors. Get online, eliminate any unwanted and creepy advances, and find the future Mr/Mrs YOU today. Everyone else is doing it at this time of year. Think of it as the one time it's worth succumbing to peer pressure.
Good luck, and Happy New Year!

Sources:
http://www.today.com/money/looking-love-new-year-online-dating-peaks-january-1B7827269
http://magazine.foxnews.com/love/why-new-years-best-time-start-online-dating
http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2011/12/26/new-years-resolutions-and-online-dating/